Breakfast Snax

Yesterday I attended my friends Mark and Hans' annual Christmas Party, this year's theme being Holiday at Tiffany's.



I have to give these boys credit. My Christmas party would have featured pigs in a blanket, a yule log and Destiny Child's "8 Days of Christmas" on constant loop with Home Alone 2: Lost In New York playing in the background on mute, in honor of my probable costume, that of the homeless pigeon lady!

Luckily for all of us in attendance, their elegant soirée was just the opposite: a classic affair which featured a signature house drink (White Christmas Cosmo), digital rear-screen projection and nary a Culkin reference in sight... although at one point I was tempted to run out of the party screaming, "I'm not afraid anymore!"

The only thing the party was sorely missing was a track from the 90's one hit wonder band Deep Blue Something, which is tragic because I so wanted to break into chorus:

And I said, "What about 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'?"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

If you're not singing along then just sign off now....

Anyhow, towards the end of the evening there was a photo call for all the Audreys to take their places on the spiral staircase for a photo shoot. Channeling my inner, er, outer Capote I decided I simply must take my place at the foot of the staircase. With all these ladies preening and posing, it was too good of an oppourtunity for me to pass up.

As I darted into the lineup, the random Tiffany I nudged beside (who I'm sure looked the part when the film came out...in 1961...Oh, snap!) dropped her doe-eyed, demure Audrey Hepburn pose in exchange for an evil Katherine Hepburn glare as the brim of my hat infringed on her eye line. She pointedly tapped her gloved finger on my shoudler and decided to break some shocking news to me, "Excuse me, but you're not a woman!"

I snapped back, "Oh, really?! So that's why I'm bursting out of these panties?! Thanks for the news!"

Not really, but seriously, after she alerts me to the fact that I do not have a vagina, i.e. "you and your man-testes (is there any other kind?) need to get the eff out of this photoshoot, I respond with an immediate flick of my fan, a roll of the eye, and an accusatory: "How DARE you!"

...and CHEESE!!!



A Closer Look:




Peace, Love & Snax,
Brian

P.S. While on poster tour with Bridget in 2005, one of the bestsellers that we would sell to the insecure freshman girls looking to cover their bare walls (in addition to a Sex and the City 8x10 from Season 1 featuring Miranda with Kool-Aid red hair) was the quintessential Audrey Hepburn black and white still of her perched in front of the Tiffanys window. After Bridget would neatly roll the poster and rubber band it, I would deviously set the trap. I couldn't resist. "So, what's your favorite Audrey Heburn movie." At this point one of two responses would come out of their confused little faces. a) "Wait, she's in movies?!?!" or b) "Breakfast at Tiffanys." My immediate followup, "No, besides Breakfast at Tiffanys?!"

Crickets............

P.S.S. One person in the photo went by the name Hot Chocolate. Can anybody guess who?!



(Sorry Tom!)