I apologize to any of my readers (all 6 of you) who've been craving "Snax" these past 8 months. I've let you down. I disappointed you. I abandoned ship. I deprived you of juicy morsels from my life, and at this point you should tell me to take my "Snax" and choke on them.
Well, my friends (not in a McCain kinda way...I actually mean it) I'm swallowing my pride and attempting to resurrect my presence in the blogosphere. This was all motivated by a new change in my life that I feel selfish depriving you of.
I've been carrying a secret around for a long time, and in the interest of full disclosure, I feel the need to come out...and admit the truth.
I joined Weight Watchers.
And you guys, it's no fucking joke.
You think rehab's rough?!?
You think a break up's traumatic?!?
You think a strap on is painful?!
You haven't experienced SHIT until you've sat through the Upper West Side Weight Watchers meeting on 73rd and Broadway. Ellen's the team leader, and she rules that meeting with an iron fist!
She will tear out your throat if you accidentally utter the phrase "i'm on a diet"
She will force you to call out a family member on thanksgiving if they tell you to "treat yourself...you'll go back on the diet tomorrow."
She literally made me swear I would call that family member out as a saboteur, and pointedly ask them, "do you want me to fail?!?"
yes, i even considered saying it...
DO YOU WANT ME TO FAIL?
:)
Anyways. I've been counting points...
I'm down a couple of snax...
and am struggling to safely snack in the city!
Peace, Love and Sensible Snax,
Brian
No comments:
Post a Comment